Reflections

“Life is hard, people are weird, but God is love.” I heard that saying in the early 1990s: I was a new Christian, newly married, and living in San Diego, California. We were part of a large, Bible-teaching, non-denominational, evangelical church that was established during the Jesus Revolution. It’s where I fell in love with Jesus and the Bible and went through a 9-month school of evangelism.

It was a radical life change compared to how I grew up, and I loved it. It’s where God began healing me and re-shaping me for His kingdom. It’s where Zach was born. Sweet friendships were made–some still in my life today. The word "wonderful" comes to mind when I reflect on those days. It is a time and place that holds many of my fondest memories.

I heard that saying when I was working for my church as one of the secretaries in the pastoral care office. During that time in ministry, studying God’s word and growing in faith with other believers, I encountered a lot of difficult situations and some very challenging people. The phrase "Life is hard, people are weird, but God is Love” seemed to capture all the different experiences.

It’s not scripture but it’s proven to be a true statement.

I often repeat the phrase when I’m going through similar experiences. I remember that God is loving, sovereign, and always good no matter how badly we behave. It puts everything and everyone into perspective, so I don’t worry.

This brings to mind a couple of verses in the Bible.

“Live at peace with everyone,” (Romans 12:18) and "Do not associate with one who is easily angered.” (Proverbs 22:24)

That’s a bit of a dichotomy, isn't it?

God tells us to live at peace with everyone and not to associate with one who is easily angered. Perhaps that’s because He knew life would be hard and people would be weird.

So, how do we live at peace with everyone and not associate with one who is easily angered?

What if the easily angered person is your father, brother, mother, sister, son, daughter, friend, fellow Christian, neighbor, boss, etc.?

There’s tension there that we must pay attention to. We need to pray and seek God’s wisdom and discernment. Most importantly, we must obey God’s Word, not our feelings.   

The Bible has much to say about how we relate to one another.

Psalm 133 for example says, "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! It is like fine oil on the head, running down on the beard, running down Aaron’s beard over the collar of his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion. For there the LORD has bestowed the blessing of life forevermore."

We may not fully understand what all that dripping oil means, but we can imagine the beautiful dewy mountains. Either way, these images seem to depict something very pleasing to God. He loves it when brothers and sisters in Christ dwell together in harmony and unity. It’s good for us too. It’s sweet and refreshing to our souls and it glorifies God.

But if you have lived more than a day, you know that's not always the case.

I want harmony and unity and I’m sure you do too. I seek it and pray for it. But in my experience not everyone wants peace. Some people thrive on chaos and control. And some of us don't handle that very well.

Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, and do not associate with one easily angered."

There’s that tension again. I don't like tension and try to avoid it. But sometimes I feel the need to fight against injustice. Tension and conflict are inevitable parts of life because we are sinners living among other sinners. We won’t always get along. We won’t always agree, but we can learn to live peacefully regardless of who comes in and who goes out of our lives.

We can learn to live with some level of tension and we should strive to resolve conflicts lovingly, but sometimes we might need to distance ourselves from certain situations for the sake of peace.

The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:10-13, "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree together, so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be united in mind and conviction.  My brothers, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you.  What I mean is this: Individuals among you are saying, “I follow Paul,” “I follow Apollos,” “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided?"

Unfortunately, disagreements and divisions have been happening since the beginning of time. That’s why Paul and so many other writers of the Bible talk about it and encourage us to get along. But God’s people can be stubborn and stiff-necked sometimes. The children of Israel, me, and perhaps even you have been stubborn and prideful.

Let's face it, we don't always get along. Sometimes we disagree. And there are some circumstances in which we should disagree. If someone is saying or doing something wrong, we should not agree with them just to be nice and unoffensive. Adam agreed to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Look how that turned out.

As much as we may desire and strive to agree with one another, disagreement happens. It’s part of life. But it doesn’t have to lead to division. It may lead to separation from some people or a situation for the sake of peace, but that’s not always bad. (Think of Paul and Barnabas.)

You might think division and separation are the same, but they are different. Division involves splitting something into distinct parts within a whole, (factions) while separation means creating a clear boundary to keep things apart from each other. The choice between them depends on the context and the intended meaning. The condition of our hearts is what matters here. Are we being a troublemaker causing strife and division among people? Or are we leaving an untenable situation?

Paul urges us in Ephesians 4:1-3, "As a prisoner in the Lord, then, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you have received: with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

The manner in which God has called Christians to live is modeled for us in Christ. Humble, gentle, patient, bearing with one another in love, and striving to preserve unity and peace. 

This should be our aim if our ambition is to please God. We are called to model the life of Christ. But sometimes, some people are very stubborn, unyielding, and unteachable, demanding their way instead of the way of Jesus. I’ve been guilty of this far too many times, and I deeply regret it. My dad was the most stubborn, unyielding, unteachable, demanding, angry man I’ve ever known. It was necessary for my mom and me to sometimes separate from him for peace and safety’s sake.

Let's look at what Paul wrote in Romans.

"Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but enjoy the company of the lowly. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, to live at peace with everyone. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:14-24

That's a tough one. It's very convicting but it's also inspiring to think that God can actually make us that way. Sounds impossible but He is the God of impossible. I'm waiting to see how it goes with me. There is much work yet to be done…

Note the key to living in harmony: Don’t be proud. Don’t be conceited. Don’t repay anyone evil for evil. Don’t avenge yourself. I’ve been guilty of all. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness.

If you haven't gathered by now, Paul wrote many letters to believers in Christ to remind them of the gospel, and to encourage them to live in peace with one another. To be like Jesus. To die to self. To glorify God and build one another up in the faith.

They like us, got it wrong many times, and needed reminding.

I hate being wrong, don’t you? It took me a lot of years to come to terms with all the wrong I have done and believed. As I repented, I fell more in love with Jesus because He’s forgiven me so much.

I am truly thankful for every experience God has brought me through–the good, the bad, and the ugly. All the wrongs I committed, and all the wrongs done to me have served as my teacher. 

I am grateful for all the correction and training in righteousness I have received from the Lord. He has taught me to let my circumstances make me better, rather than bitter. I still have much to learn, and I purpose to remain teachable no matter how old I get.

As I surrender to Christ and accept all my circumstances as part of His plan, my relationship with Jesus is enriched and all other relationships in my life get better and healthier. My marriage to Mark and my relationship with my son, Zach, become stronger and sweeter as I love them like Jesus loves me. Something I can't do in my own strength. I need His Holy Spirit to guide me.

But it’s not all roses everywhere. Over the years, I’ve made tough, painful decisions, to leave jobs and churches because harmony, unity, and peace were not possible there. Friendships and family ties have been broken due to hot tempers, and drastically differing beliefs that dishonor the Lord. It’s heartbreaking. I wish it weren't so, but Jesus said it would be.

Jesus said that we are supposed to love Him more than anyone else (Luke 14:26). He said that we would be hated because of our relationship with Him (Luke 21:17). If we’re boldly following Jesus, going against the flow of culture and popular opinion, and speaking truth to power. We won’t get along with everyone, and that’s okay.

Jesus said in Matthew 10:37-39, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

God expects us to love and prefer Him more than anyone else. He commands it. In the family, church, and workplace, our primary devotion, affection, and allegiance should be to Jesus. When any relationship comes into conflict with Him we need to choose Jesus. When anger, disputes, and doctrines create chaos and division, we might need to separate for a while or permanently. Of course, it’s not easy or comfortable, but life isn’t.

Yes, we need to be ministers of reconciliation and as far as it is possible with us, live at peace with everyone. We need to be gracious, merciful, kind, compassionate forgiving, long-suffering, and esteem others higher than ourselves, just like Jesus is with us.

That’s our aim. But when conflict comes (trials, tribulations, pain, suffering, hatred, malice, separation of friends) don’t be discouraged or dismayed. It's all throughout the Bible, so we know it's part of the human experience.

So, we fix our eyes on Jesus. We keep praying and seeking first God’s Kingdom and His righteousness. We ask God to search our hearts, know our anxious thoughts, see if there is any wicked way in us, and lead us in the way of everlasting.  

When life is hard and people are weird, let’s try to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to get angry. Let’s be quick to repent and quick to forgive. Let’s be gracious to one another. Let’s not despair if things don’t go as we planned or wanted. Things rarely do. And remember God’s love brings healing and reconciliation, and it covers a multitude of sins. I thank Him for that every day.

Blessings in Christ to you and yours.

Mara Petro

Novice writer aiming to glorify God and encourage Christians with the truth of God’s Word.